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Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Annual Conference

This week is an exciting time for me as we have the Annual SNP Conference which is held every year. As someone who is now important, I will probably get a seat somewhere near the front and a big badge with my name on it, reading "Alasdair Allan", so that people can call me by my name, rather than just ignoring me as they have in the past.

Kenny phoned today to tell me that my room was confirmed, and that I was to be in the hotel next to the hotel next to the hotel where the conference was to be held. It is so exciting to be at the centre of everything, and to see the seat of power. Which is not, as Kenny says, Mr Alex's bum as he walks past.

Kenny has got me a special premium single room above the kitchens with a view of the largest car park, and apparently there isn't much noise from there in the room after midnight; but I'll be long asleep by then.

Mr Angus has been booked a special room which befits his status as a senior figure in the party, doing what he is told in a proper fashion, and a major influence on telling Mr Alex how good he is at being leader.

Kenny tells me that Mr Angus has a suite with enough room for four people and storage for a set of bagpipes to keep him straight. I have no idea what he is talking about, but Rhona stapled his hand to the desk, so I suspect that he is being rude again.

I see that 12 of my colleagues have signed my motion giving an accolade to Mr Alex, and I hope he will see us as his 12 disciples and reward our forthright and outspoken flattery.

Mr Bruce tells me that I will be moving a motion at Conference, and that I will receive the speech later, but I must read it exactly as written, even if I don't understand any of it. How I laugh and tell him that is what I do in the Chamber every day.

Gaelic words spoken: 779
Photographs in the Stornoway Gazette: 1
Bad words about me in the West Highland Free Press: too many to count

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.