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Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Telvision interview

I do an astounding television interview with STV in which I unequivocally confirm my probable support for the likely decision that the Government might take in considering the application for a windpoint in Lewis. Without doubt I will almost certainly fully support the view that the Government are minded to reject the application. That will show the doubters just how much of a community leader I am, and hopefully Mr Alex will see my performance and be minded to give me a promotion to apprentice substitute junior assistant vice-deputy Minister for Gaelic.

Having seen the interview, I have had strong words with the journalist concerned as they started the clip with an interview with Voldemort and his child playing straight on the emotional heartstrings in a basic, crude and superficially attractive way, and he also had things to say that undermined my position. How dare he play politics with such an important issue and try and contrast his fertility with the absence of any woman in my life.

In Kenny's absence, Rhona screams politely down the phone at the journalist on my behalf threatening many unpleasant personal afflictions and hurt, and tells me that I will not have any more problems from that quarter. Knowing my concerns she is able to put me totally at ease by reassuring me about public perception. "Don't worry what people think", she says, "I tell them that you are saving yourself for exactly the right person, and that you are a quite attractive individual in an asexual sort of way, and that surrounding yourself with young men shouldn't be misunderstood."

I hear Kenny quietly laughing in the toilet.

Journalists spoken to: None
Gaelic words spoken: 347
Windfilms stopped: 1 (probably minded to)

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.