Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Burns Night

In order to commemorate our national poet, and to demonstrate the deep and lasting support that the Western Isles have for our Scottish National Poet and his deep and lasting impression on the Scottish psyche, and following guidance from Mr Alex that the SNP must respect and reflect on his fine words at this important time, the Western Isles SNP have decided not to hold a Burns Night celebration.

No doubt my political opponents will try to make political capital out of this, by suggesting that the active membership of the local SNP has fallen, but the simple truth is that we have never been able to get enough members to attend any function, except in exceptional circumstances, so the non-event is simply normal.

The local branch remains strong with average attendance at meetings having increased by 20% since I was elected, and there is plenty of room in the Offices for many more activists to attend, so I look forward to having to having to get more tables out to accommodate the seventh supporter soon.

Tonight Kenny presented me with a new Sgian Dubh, inscribed with the motto, "To Alistir Allen. Become the Yukio Mishima of the islands", which he tells me shows his desire for me to take my political success to the highest level. As a kilt is an Imperialist symbol of the oppression of the Gaels by the Germano-Unionist-Quisling class following the '45 in which my family would have suffered so much had they lived anywhere north of Selkirk, but with which we have had so much fundamental and heart-felt affinity over the many, many years since I was elected, I have no intention of ever wearing one. Kenny reminds me that this doesn't mean I cannot find a good use for the knife.

Haggis eaten: none
Poems read in broad Scots: 35
Constituents met: 1 (Kenny)

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.