Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Stornoway Gazette

The local newspaper has tried to suggest that I am wrong footed by the announcement by the Government that there will be no referendum on the windwheels planning application.

How wrong can they be about things! It is very clear that when I called for a referendum and said that it should be organised by the Council as it was the best way for the Government to understand public opinion which they could then take into account when coming to their decision to refuse planning permission, what I actually said was that the communities should ignore the referenda which they have held in their areas as these are not representative and the Community Councils should find the money from their limited budgets to organise new referenda run by professionals which will come up with the same result which the Council and the Government cannot then ignore.

This master plan was met with public acclaim and incredulity at my sheer brilliance and was embraced without question by all the relevant Community Council in Airidhantuim, who advised me that they had no money to do such a thing, and that the previous votes were clear and unequivocal.

The other Community Councils were obviously happy with this plan as they haven't replied.

I am so angry with the Gazette that I will have to contact the editor, Donnie MacInnes, to register my utter anger at the utter incompetence of the report. I control my wrath long enough to stop scaring Alan, and instruct him to immediately phone Mr MacInnes' wife - who is also the Chairperson of the local SNP - to tell Mr MacInnes of my extreme displeasure with the situation
and threaten to withhold all my news releases from the Gazette if such libellous, defamatory and naughty nonsense appears in the future. Alan leaves a scathing message on the answering machine and reminds me that Donnie has authored all the news releases for the next month, so my threats are less than threatening.

I drive home, and on the hour long journey I decide on my course of action. I will not attend the next Branch Meeting of the local SNP. That will teach them.

Referendums organised by me, but not delivered by the Communities: 1
Journalists spoken to: 1
Highest speed driven at: 15mph

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.