Servicing

I received a message from Mr Bruce the Chief Whip that I have to attend a reprogramming course before Christmas as apparently I have been 'off message' in some areas.

We have a group hug in the office, and tears are shed as I consider the implications of the message, and fear and trepidation sets in. I cannot think why I am being called in as I have done everything that I have been asked and nothing more, absolutely nothing more. I think that I must be carrying the can for the Council not doing as I pleaded with them, and causing problems for the Government by asking questions, when they should know better.

Kenny passes me a note that reads "The office might be bugged by HQ" and we sneak outside and into his car to discuss matters in a fug of cigarette smoke and surrounded by fleeces and half-eaten guga suppers still in their wrappers. He has heard from reliable sources, that we are to be taken in to be reprogrammed to forget the words "Donald Trump" and to be taught how to avoid discussing the issue. This is frightening but I know it will be for the best, as the media (except for the ever reliable Stornoway Gazette) have acted irresponsibility on this matter, and I intend to table a motion in Parliament proposing their nationalisation under the direct editorial control of Mr Alex, which should solve these problems.

Gaelic words spoken: 745
Passive cigarettes smoked: 41
Days in power: 223