Naughty phone calls

Kenny is furious and is threatening not to answer the phone any more.

After my masterful appearance on Isles FM on Friday, and my promise that the 30 mile journey would be funded by RET, a lot of people have phoned asking what happens after the ferry reaches the 30 mile point? And do they have to swim the last 20 miles or are CalMac going to charge £100 per car for the final leg?

It was simple mistake to make, after all how am I expected to know anything about ferries or distances or travel when I have only ever flown over the ferry on my expenses paid travel. And seen it tied up at night in Stornoway once, when I was looking at street signs.

I tell Kenny to get back to work, as I am writing a letter to JK Rowling wanting to know why she hasn't published her book in Gaelic yet, and asking for a translation for Voldemort.

Incessantly ringing phones: 3
Distance across the Minch: 50 miles
Gaelic translations of Harry Potter: Zero