Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Dangerous driving

I should apologise to all my constituents for my actions. I really hope they never find out about my dangerous and criminal activities.

I was so excited about reporting to the Branch that I had spoken to Mr Alex that I lost all concentration on the road and the car accelerated to almost 30MPH on the straight stretch of road between Tong and Newmarket. Luckily there is no speed limit there, or I could have lost my licence or possibly be the victim of a major motorway pile-up or been the target of the armed traffic vigilantes that Kenny tells me roam that area.

I knew that there were speed humps coming up, so I slowed down to just over 10MPH with barely a mile to spare, and kept at that speed despite the horns of the Ambulance behind tempting me to break the laws. No siree.

I was so mortified and embarrassed when I reached the SNP office, that I hope no-one could tell by my face that I was nearly a major criminal.

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.