Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Attn newsdesks

Press release from Dr Alasdair Allan PhD MA DDT (SNP MSP for the Western Isles)


They are a bad thing, and Labour is to blame.

I have headed a virulent and wide ranging campaign against the closures across the constituency with a petition signed by many people (Kenny and Rona) but despite posting it to Mr Brown yesterday from the Post Office in Tong (closed 1998) he has ignored my pleas and mercilessly brutally murdered the Gaelic speaking Postmasters and Postmistresses of the Western Isles as they lay unsuspecting in their beds using a very sharp implement and without any concern for the mess that this will cause on the bedsheets, and ripped the throbbing, beating, heart from the children of these small isolated communities whilst they were outside playing on the swings with their friends, and eating the hearts like a Fife Werewolf in Lewis (I'm writing the film script at the moment in Gaelic for the new digital channel, and it will appear in the register of interests soon) without condiments or concern for the vegetarians who might be watching with binoculars for the next village.

7 May 2008

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.