Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Election pledge 1

If re-elected I promise to work tirelessly to expand the range of courses provided by the University of the Higlands and Islands.

A key policy is the early introduction of the following opportunities identified by the SNP Government as needed by the communities:

  • Navigation for guide dogs for deaf/blind fishermen: this course is open to collies and labradors who wish to expand their nautical map reading skills. Simultaneous translation into Gaelic will be available.
  • Angling for beginners Level 1(Mangersta campus): how to buy a rod in Sportsworld. This will be available on YouTube as a MG Alba podcast. With English subtitles.
  • Subsidy form completion (HNC advanced): mathematical formulae of computing the surface area of an irregular three dimensional object (your croft) including 3D polynomial Mandelbrot curves, and the subsidy level they attract. This will be compulsory for all crofters from 2012. Closed captioned in Polish.

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.