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Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The use of Gaelic

I was utterly appalled at the refusal of the Royal Bank of Scotland to accept cheques written in Gaelic, and I have written in very strong terms to Mr Alex, in Gaelic with a translation in Braid Scots and *nglish, complaining about the situation.

One of my constituents and party member and esteemed Gaelic students, a Mr George Michael Drummond was in a shop in Stornoway trying to buy a new rakish hat, a saving set, Harraidh Potter agus an Orchloch, some rubber accessories and a new bath plug when his cheque was refused by the Labour philistine in the Bank.

I have seen the cheque which reads:
Paidh: Nazir Brathair, Tri fichead quid agus 20p.

How could any Bank that tries to call itself Scottish refuse such a clear instruction?

The pathetic excuse from the Gordon Brown instructed press officer was that all staff have to be able to read the cheque to know how much it is for and that the correct payee is being credited.

Have you ever heard anything as stupid as that. Gaelic is not here to be understood by everyone, but to provide a way for the intellectually superior to demonstrate their unique abilities to communicate in more than one language.

Would the Bank refuse a cheque written in French, or Welsh or Urdu? It is their responsibility to ensure that ALL their staff are properly trained in Gaelic so that customers can write cheques without fear of staff being too stupid to understand another language.

I am so angry that I have had to come home to change my trousers.

Kenny has suggested that perhaps I should be pressing Mr Alex to ensure that Gaelic has equal status in Scotland, but I firmly demolish his argument by pointing out that Mr Alex has too many other things to be worrying about at the moment, such as the attempt by Gordon Brown to reduce the Scottish Budget from £300,000,000 to £750 meaning the likely self-immolation in despair of civil servants such as Kenny. He duly falls silent, marvelling at my rhetoric.

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.