No fairies in this house!

I have just finished putting up the Christmas tree, and just in time as I was given the present from Mr Alex as I tried to leave Edinburgh with explicit instructions that it was to go on the tree immediately.

Inside the present is a Santa, with the face of Mr Alex, along with a Christmas card that I have to send back to Mr Alex. The Santa is wonderful, with a swivelling head, eyes that seem to look at you constantly, but it could do with much more padding around the waist if it is to look realistic.

I place the Santa on the top of the tree, as there are no fairies in this house, and I would swear that the eyes follow me about. I have opened the card and there is a tab to show exactly where I am to sign. The wonderful Christmas festive message is clear....

Merry Christmas
I hereby authorise you to read my emails, listen to my telephone calls,
open my post, read my private files, bug my home, office and car
And a Happy New Year
and take such other steps as are necessary to ensure that I
do exactly as I am told
Ane Folk, Ane Scotia, Ane Alex

Sign here

As I sign the card and put a stamp on it, the Santa seems to let out a laugh, but nothing for me to worry about! I tramp along the road to see Gordon Diesel to post the letter and buy a variety pack of Kellogg's single serving breakfast cereals. For me, there is nothing more exciting than putting my hand in the cupboard in the morning and not knowing if I will have Coco Pops or Ricicles for breakfast. They are in stock; which is just as well, or Mr Angus and I would have to speak to the Minister and dmeand that somone else arrange a Summit to discuss the matter!

And so to bed, with a small glass of ribena and a good book - the Horrid Henry Omnibus. Note to self, must complain about this not being available in Gaelic.

Constituents spoken to: 1 (Gordon Diesel, but he doesn't really count)
Christmas cards written: 7 (Mr Alex, Ms Nicola, Mr John, Mr Angus, Mr Jim, Mr Bruce and special Alex)
Expenses claims submitted: £7,645.34 for the last quarter