Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Harris Tweed

The shocking thing about the decision by Mr Haggis to stop doing what my constituents who weave would like is not that a mere businessman is trying to run the business in the way that suits himself, rather than as I would like but that there is only one beneficiary from this entire operation.

Like the devil machines they were proposing to build at Arnish, the unholy have many faces. With Al*sd*ir M*rris*n and Brain Wislon running the other Harris Tweed mill on the islands they can be the only winners from this, and that must be stopped. I have submitted the following motion to the Parliament for early discussion.

"We the undersigned call on the First Minister (Mr Alex) to instruct Mr Haggis to restart production of all tweeds in all colours and quantities with immediate effect to prevent the Labour mill in Shawbost from being viable. Further, we call on Mr John to instruct the Valuation Board to raise a punitive assessment on the Labour mill with immediate effect; to be followed by a rotation of Health and Safety inspections, tax investigations, Minimum Wage visits, Environmental Health de-ratting inspections, and a mass raid by the Police to round up the unlicenced migrant workers from Stornoway. A demolition order, implemented with extreme prejudice, would also be appreciated."

I have also asked HQ to expel the so-called SNP supporter Alasdair "Rae" MacKenzie, who forthwith will be known as Mr Quisling.

Motions tabled this week: 1
Motions signed by me this week: 37
Letters from constituents: 1

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.