Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rocket range saved!

Doom and gloom in the Stornoway office, which makes me glad to be back in civilisation in Edinburgh and away from the tedious expectations of representation from constituents.

Mr Angus phoned first thing this morning from the new SNP Embassy building he has just organised in the Spearmint Rhino building in Washington to tell me that there was bad news.

It looks like Labour have done the dirty on us and are planning to keep the Range open.

Mr Angus is almost in tears and he can hardly managed to order another Toblerone and raid the minibar on expenses, whilst giving a $10 note to one of the staff, who he says can hardly afford enough to buy clothes to wear.

I am furious and I will be urgently trying to speak to Mr Alex and Mr John later this week to find if there is any way that this deception by Labour can be reversed, as there are two jobs in the Western Isles that are more important than any others.

I program my phone to block all calls from Uist, only to remember I did this a month ago.

My very personal assistant brings me a cup of rosemary and nettle tea and another boxes of silk hankies, and gently dabs my eyes. "Is there anything I can do for you? Anything?", he asks in his softest most comforting voice. I look straight into his deep limpid eyes, and a smile crosses my face: "Yes, see if Alex Orr is free tonight."

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.