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Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Press release: Celtic Festival "A Success"

Embargoed until 9pm 17 July.

The 2009 Hebridean Celtic Festival has been described as another outstanding success by Dr Alasdair Allan.

“This is the third Festival delivered under an SNP Government – something that Labour refused to do in office – and I it is the best yet.

“The lesson to be learned from this event is that an independent Scotland could show the world that we can nurture, produce and export world-beating artistes such as Africa Umbongo, the Vancouver Barbershop Quartet, Nova Scotia’s Flying Maraccas Sisters and the lilting Cajun sounds of Swedish thrash-metal combo ÜberDěathFuЖ, who sang in Swedish Gaelic.

“I spent the week in the Big Top (Kenny, check this is right) shaking my funky thang to the beats and getting down with the kids (Kenny!).

“It was heartening to see the youth of Lewis coming together - sharing their herbal cigarettes, anti-malarial tablets and bottles of Old McGregors 3-year-old Loch Portain Sump Oil “One dram will have you sailing” at the back of the tent behind the healthy-eating burger stalls, and just out of sight of the bouncers and the Police.

“The continued success of the festival was in no small measure to the good word I put in to Mr Alex about how good it was, and to the involvement of Mr Angus in providing musical support to the artistes.

“Mr Angus was able to explain to an audience of young female performers how he wrote his first symphony aged 3 before retiring from performing aged 10, having filled Carnegie Hall for a record 419 nights in a row.

“Mr Angus was utterly dedicated to the cause, working late into the night and all the way into the early morning; offering to show all the young females his fingering technique, and he was last seen trying to arrange private lessons in a local hotel room.

“The organisers and attendees should remember that the continuing success of the Festival is entirely dependant upon voting correctly at coming elections, and we have their names and details on file.

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.