Vote SNP - we know where you live

Alasdair Allan

This is a private journal about all the exciting things that have happened to me since I stood as MSP for Gordon the Western Isles. I am dedicated to the people of Gordon the Western Isles, and there is nowhere else I would rather represent. I even intend to live there soon.

I am not to be mistaken for for that imposter who pretends to be an MSP.

I really like this dynamic and exciting blog layout, which suits me perfectly.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Lighthouse California

Rhona cornered Kenny and I in the office, and made us sit in the corner whilst she explained some political realities to us.

Her husband, Billy "Bunter" MacDonald, works at the Lighthouse California factory and the owners are going to close it. What were Mr Angus and I going to do about this outrageous action?

Billy is apparently second in charge of the assistants clipboard for noting down messages received on the telephone and as such is very self-important, and mustn't be sacked.

Kenny spoke up, taking out his strip of kipper jerky and laying it aside for later consumption, and explained that he had already issued a press release on behalf of Mr Angus announcing that Mr Angus had rescued the factory and all the employees from penury and certain unemployment, and that Mr Angus would be meeting with management to explain to them just how to run the factory profitably.

Kenny had not been able to tell Rhona or me about this had he had not been able to reach Mr Angus to tell him what to say. Apparently Mr Angus was incommunicado in either a Cambodian paddy field, or a Thai massage parlour, Kenny wasn't sure which as Mr Angus hadn't been clear about his plans.

I promised Rhona that I would personally meet with the staff, if she could show me where the factory was, and explain that Mr Angus, ably assisted by I, would make sure no bad publicity came out of this whole sorry matter. I reminded her that the secure future of the factory had already been forecast by The Eagles, when they wrote "You can clock on, but you will never leave."

I will await detailed instructions from Mr Angus on what to do, but I seriously thinking about writing to someone about this.

Kipper jerky eaten: Nil
Threats from Rhona: 7
Thai knocking shops phoned by Kenny: 17

I've read my wise words this many times

* No, not really. If you haven't worked out that this is a satirical exercise, then please get a life. And find one for Alasdair.